Excretion: The Shocking True Story of the Football Moms (Depth Charge Productions) 2017 Review
I wasn’t quite sure what I was in for when I put this movie on, and boy, did Aaron Stielstra take me on quite a ride. Excretion is like a fusion between Spinal Tap mockumentary and out there experimental films. The film is about the band, The Football Moms, who play an underground genre known as Embarrassment Punk. What is Embarrassment Punk you ask? It’s music unburdened by lyrical logic or any musical obligations to sound anything but disturbed and remote. (Or the band just plays Rock’n’Roll as one of the band members puts it) It’s also hilarious the band is made up of like six dudes and their band name is The Football Moms. The movie never explains the origins of the name and that just kind of makes it funnier.
If you really want to boost your indie cred, name drop The Football Moms
Aaron Stielstra wrote, directed, produced, edited and wrote the score and music for the movie. He also takes on the role of several characters in the film, including the front man of the band, Cozy Deathbed. Cozy highlights his struggles with “Chronic Wet Brain”. This is one of those movies where you can feel the director’s presence, experiences, and so on in the work just of how hard the film leans into it’s oddness. The film is structured like a documentary which uses interviews, behind the scenes, band practice, music videos, montages and live performances throughout the film. The film is like a broad canvas of deviant energy that feels more like a raw documentary than a polished movie. But the fast pace editing style and effects range from Windows Movie Maker transitions to sloppily-pasted still frames and strange colored filters. Thankfully there is a narrator which helps to guide the viewer through the band’s haphazard trajectory of their rise and fall.
The music videos segments are pretty fun, even if they give off a home video style of editing. The Football Moms do have some have interesting jams, even if most of their songs just consist of them yelling the song title over and over such as in “Old People Sex” or “Rock (Rock!) The Night”. The only issue is the only thing that really changes in the music videos is the location where the band play. It could have been fun if the band had made a western or medieval music video or changed the style as they progressed through their career. (Maybe one of their songs could have had a rapping breakdown?One of the band members, Icky Terry adds some strangeness by wearing a Slipknot inspired mask and I’m not sure if he plays a musical instrument or is just there to dance around and add that extra edge.
The Football Balls trying to think of new hit jams to crank out.
The zaniness works well in the first half of the film. But the second half is where Excertion’s craziness starts to wear on you as the film starts to run out of stream. While the main characters may lack traditional "rock n' roll charisma," their "goopy, wet despair" is undeniably memorable in parts. Despite its infectious, DIY spirit, Excretion eventually becomes a victim of its own chaos. The 'Embarrassment Punk' aesthetic is a blast in short bursts, but the lack of narrative growth or change in aesthetic makes the final act feel like a bit of a slog. It’s a fascinating, singular vision from Stielstra, but like a real underground punk show, you might find yourself looking for the exit before the final encore.
Ultimately, Excretion isn’t going to be for everyone—and that’s clearly how Stielstra wants it. While the second half loses some of its initial comedic punch and impact, the film succeeds as a grime-coated time capsule of a band that shouldn't exist. The Football Moms are going to make art, even if it’s a messy, loud, and a 'wet' nosey experiment. They prove you don’t need a budget to create something genuinely unforgettable. If you have a taste for the absurd and a high tolerance for wacky Windows Movie Maker transitions and effects, The Football Moms are waiting for you.
